Not So Cursed After All
by celticmoonbeams
Summary: Killian tells David about Zelena's curse on him and her threat against Emma's loved ones as he tried to do the night it happened. While doing so, Killian discovers a few things that changes his view on several things, certain people in his life and his current situation. Captain Swan and Captain Charming.
1. Chapter 1

Crystal blue-green waves crashed against the side of the boat but I couldn't really see them despite leaning over the port side wale. I had been too lost in thought to see them. It had been something I was getting use to after the night my Emma had invited my to dinner with her family. It took everything I had in me to refuse and walk away. I had been walking away from everything I had ever wanted.

And yet I hadn't had the strength to go back to the boat. I had to see her outside of that diner. I saw not only her but everything I had ever wanted. The sight of a smiling and laughing family together enjoying each others company. Enjoying the strange food and drink of this realm that I had found myself beginning to enjoy. The drink coffee had particularly charmed me and I had become what I overheard someone say at one point as an addict.

In my mind's eye I saw David's grin which he shared freely to those gathered at the table. It was a grin I had only began getting used to receiving from him myself. It wasn't until that moment I realized I had begun to see him not only as the father of the woman I loved but as my friend. Maybe the best friend I had ever begun to have. I appreciated and respected his courage and honor. I appreciated his ever increasing encouragement and trust in me that had began after I helped him in Neverland. He had slowly became a true ally I hadn't had in so many years.

Henry who was so much like his father that it hurt me at times. Despite that, the lad had spunk, intelligence and courage like his mum and his father. His heart was true. The more I had learned of the lad the more I found myself agreeing with that demon Pan. Henry did possess the heart of the truest believer. He was truly a born hero and I had not one doubt that he would prove it someday in spades. I knew I would miss the lad. Zelena had no idea just how much I had grown fond of that boy.

Mary Margaret who had me beginning to believe in the goodness of others despite it all. Her honesty despite it's sometimes unfortunate timing had my utmost respect. She inspired a sense of nobility and honor in those around her and I found myself unexpectedly far from immune from her influence. Her ability of forgiveness humbled and shook me to my core so much I found myself briefly looking at her in awe. When she had looked up at me and said our friend, I had almost broken down right then and there. _Our_. From Snow White. Emma's mother. She had included me in that _our_. The knife had twisted in my gut another fraction of an inch from the effort of holding my tongue because of the betrayal to her trust my silence was committing.

And Regina who was the most unlikely of all. If someone would have told me that Regina and I would someday become more than just mistrusting "allies" of convenience on the day we met, I would have laughed on their face. I never once had thought I would begin to come to see her as an actual friend in some ways. Certainly not in all ways did I see her like that. Of all of them, she still was the one I was the least close with. I still found myself coming to respect her forthrightness, tenacity and the fierce devotion and protectiveness for those she loved. I hadn't realized until that moment just how bloody much I had hoped that all of them, including Regina, would become my family, my home, actually become a reality.

Then there was Emma. My Emma. My Swan. Sitting there smiling and laughing as she leaned up against the wall. I found myself jealous of the wall. I wanted to be there next to her More than I had wanted anything in the over three hundred years of my life. I ached for her to turn that radiant smile in my direction. To feel the warmth of her body so close to mine and then have them touch as she leaned closer still. I wanted our fingers to interlace under the table as we enjoyed the leisurely company of our family just having dinner.

Seeing her with the light of laughter in her eyes and that rare, beautiful smile on her lips instantly became my focal point. The shining center of my world allowing me to navigate my way back to who I had been when Liam had still been alive. A man I thought had been dead for so many years. Gave me the hope and will to even want to be that man again. At least some version of him. She really hadn't quite gotten that even after how hard I tried to show her. I still wanted to show her. I wanted to show her in the same way I had realized my love for her.

A burning tingle danced across my lips at that thought. I lowered the spyglass as reality slammed into me like a crashing wave on stormy sea. If I showed her in that way, she would lose her magic. She would lose who she was and most likely Zelena would then take her heart. Just like Rumpelstiltskin had done to Milah. The thought had almost made me double over. I found myself wishing for Cora's hand in my chest gripping my heart threatening to rip it out. Cora was dead and it was Zelena the one who would most likely do it. I'd rather Zelena take mine instead of _that_. It was preferable, a kindness, compared to the feeling I had felt in that one moment and how I knew I would feel when it would happen.

Just the memory had me wincing yet again. No. I vowed I would not take my love's magic from her. But there was that other side of that vicious coin that needed to be dealt with and needed my attention. I may not have been Emma's true love and my kiss would destroy her but I wasn't going to let that witch hurt her family. It had been the reason I went to Emma's home that night. Emma having been the one to have opened that door had been the only thing that prevented me from doing it. I had to distance myself from her but I couldn't leave them unknowing and unprotected from the witch. At least he needed to know.

"Killian!" A now familiar voice bellowed causing my eyes to snap open.

I looked up to see David standing on the docks waving his arm in greeting. His head tilted in the slight nod that I had come to treasure so greatly. I felt my head return the nod with ease. Another unexpected surprise. How easy it came without even a single thought. I shook my head as I made my way across the deck.

Smee began to approach the docks from the north side of town but I was in no mood to speak with him. I had been still too upset with him from our last conversation and recent events hadn't helped matters. I strode quickly down the gangway onto the dock. A moment later I closed the distance between David and myself. I could feel Smee's eyes on us and it spurred me to motion to David to move away in the opposite direction towards where his vessel.

"Got your message you left with Ruby. What's going on?" David asked as soon as I was in earshot. Confusion was plain on his face and in his voice. "What about your friend?" David noticed Smee on the dock. Recognition quickly lit his eyes. "Wait a second. Didn't he use to be a rat?"

"Aye," I whispered. The same question asked of me on the very same dock. For a split moment, it wasn't David's voice I heard but another voice I wanted to hear more echoing through my mind. The curve of the smile that had formed on my face immediately faded and another sharp stab sheered through my chest. "In many ways, he still is. That's why we should discuss this somewhere else."

"Where?"

"Anywhere that others can't overhear us. Even though that won't do any good. Still, the smaller the likelihood of someone hearing us, the better."

"The apartment. Everyone's out right now," David said, his voice changing from his previous confusion to seriousness and alarm. "Maybe Emma should hear this too."

"No!" I shouted as I halted my step and turned to face him. David had a mask of utter shock but still held my gaze without falter and it took me that moment to realize what I had done. I took a deep breathe. "I'm sorry. That had came out more harshly than I intended."

David nodded but thankfully didn't say another word. He just started the vessel and moved it down the street in the direction of his home. The path towards it had come to be so familiar to me over the time spent in Storybrooke. I knew it like the back of my hand. David remained quiet for the entire voyage but I caught him turning to look at me every so often. The questions screamed from him even though he gave no voice to them. Within moments we arrived at our destination. David quickly led the way into the apartment.

"OK. What's wrong with you?" David asked without waiting even a minute after closing the door and turning to face me.

"Pardon?" I stammered slightly. Ah...he had noticed. Of course he would have.

"You know exactly what I mean. You've been avoiding us all. Even Henry. But, you've been avoiding the one person I know for a fact that you wouldn't normally avoid like I wouldn't and couldn't Mary Margaret. For the exact same reason why I can't. Emma. The woman you love and have repeatedly shown that you love her since Neverland," he replied. He didn't flinch. His voice didn't wavering in the least amount. His blue eyes stayed locked with mine in challenge. Challenging me to deny it. "Remember I was the first one to see it so I damn well know you do. Why are you avoiding the woman you love with all your heart? Something happened. Something's wrong. What is it?"

Yes, he noticed. The irony of the situation came crashing into the forefront of my mind. I had done a similar course of action with his Nightshade poisoning. I understood in that moment how he felt when I had been the one to do it. I was going to tell him anyway. The perceptiveness just made it slightly easier.

"The night I had been with Ariel," I said softly.

"When you helped Ariel on her way back to Eric. That was a couple of nights ago. What about it?"

"I didn't help her. She had been with her husband the whole time."

"What?"

"She was never in Storybrooke. She was with him this whole time."

"Than who was...Zelena."

"Aye."

"She turned herself into Ariel to get us to help her so she could get one of us. But why Ariel?"

"Not one of us. Me. It was me she wanted," I whispered so low I hadn't been sure I heard what I had said myself. David gave me a confused look. Here it would begin was the thought that echoed through my mind. It would be just like my confession had in the Echo Cave. Each wave ripped and teared into me. So shall this be. "I hadn't helped Ariel in the first place. She had came to me thinking I had taken her husband when in fact my ship had been commandeered by Blackbeard and he had been the one who had taken her love. It came down to a choice. My ship or her love. I had chosen my ship. I made Blackbeard walk the plank and the mermaid jumped overboard after him. She wound up finding her love all by herself."

"You chose your ship over Eric?" he shouted in both disbelief and anger. Anger I hadn't seen from him since before the Nightshade and him constantly calling me _pirate_. I swallowed hard and reminded myself that I knew this David would return once I had told him. He immediately moved further into the room and began to pace slowly back and forth the length of the room.

"I didn't know them. The Jolly Roger was the only home I had left. I could return to my old life and try to..." I began to explain; my eyes cautiously following his movements.

"Fill the hole that leaving Emma left inside your heart. Mend the shattered pieces," he finished for me as he stopped his paced and stared at me. The anger immediately faded and something else flashed in his eyes. Something close to what I hadn't expected nor hoped to receive from him; understanding. Could he?

"Aye. I know what I did to Ariel was wrong. I'm not trying to say it wasn't. I've regretted it basically since the moment she jumped overboard and disappeared. And it didn't stop hurting but got worse. When I saw her at the diner...I'm wanted to say I was sorry but I didn't know what to say or how to say it. When we couldn't find her husband here, I finally admitted to her what had happened and tried to apologize. I tried to tell her why I had done it. Of course she was upset. She had every right to be. But I had wanted to really let her know how much I regretted it and how much I would have taken what I did back if I could. She didn't believe me and asked me if a man with a broken heart could still love. I told I did. She said if I did still love the person who broken my heart then to swear it on her name."

"She cursed Emma?" David asked in sheer panic and the flash of anger returned to his eyes as they hardened once more.

"No! She cursed me," I replied. The tension left his body at my words.

"Cursed you? How? Where you can't go near her like it's physically keeping you away from her?"

"I'm staying away from her by my choosing."

"Why?"

"Think about it."

"I don't see why you would. Not loving her like you do."

"Bloody hell," I sighed in frustration. He should have known by how he himself felt and wanted to do when he was with his own wife. Was it another part of that bloody curse to have to say it to her own father? I had instantly begun to think so. "You want to kiss your wife when you're around her, don't you? Now think about that again."

"Oh."

"I can't. If I kiss her, it'll remove her magic. It'll remove her power. And that's why I can't be around her. Not now. Not until this bloody curse is broken. And I can't tell her about it. The witch wants me to do it. Told me to choose. Kiss her and take her magic or everybody she loves dies. But I can't do it. I won't. I won't take a part of Emma away from her. That's why I wanted to talk to you without too many people around to hear. If I told, she would kill you all. But, you need to know. You're the one who can look after them and get them the protection they will need because the witch will know I've told you. She has her spies everywhere. She'll find out and she'll come for you."

"That means she'll kill you too."

"I'm not a part of your little group."

"Yes, you are."

"What a pirate that has done what I have done?"

"You shouldn't have done what you did to Ariel and Eric. It was wrong and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But you already know that. You admitted that. Am I upset about it? Yes. They're our friends. Of course I am. Am I disappointed? Yes. I am. I know you're better than that. You proved it over and over again in Neverland and since we got back with this curse of Zelena's. You weren't just a pirate being a pirate. You were a man who loved my daughter so much that it broke his heart to be apart from her and you tried what you thought best to mend it. It wasn't the right thing to do and it didn't help at all. I don't agree with what you did but I understand it. Despite what you did to _our_ friends, you're also a man loved by my daughter who hasn't done anything near as bad as my grandson's adoptive mother and his grandfather. She cursed multiple realms. He has too long of a list I stopped keeping track a while back and I'm sure there's much more than that I don't know. I don't think I really want to know everything he's done. Truthfully, they make you look like a white knight when you compare what you've done to what they've done. They're still very much a part of our _little group_ that we call a family. They've made quite a bit of progress in changing themselves for the better. Especially Regina. If they can do that and we can and have give them multiple chances, we can let you have a chance to make up for what you did to Ariel and Eric. You already have for being a pirate."

He gestured towards the stools to my right before walking over to them himself. Instead of taking one, he went to the large metal box behind the table in front of them. He opened it, reached in and took out two cylinder containers. The door to the box slowly closed itself as he got two glasses out of from one of the top cabinets. He returned to the table then proceed to open both cylinders and pour one into each glass.

"Ah, a drink."

"It's not rum. No alcohol in this house. Mary Margaret's expecting. It's just to be safe. It's called Pepsi. It's a sweet, sparkling drink. It does taste pretty good. Here," he replied as he gently pushed one of the full glasses to me. I took a sip and he was right. Sweet. Bubbly to where it tickles down my throat but it hadn't been unpleasant. "So, we covered what happened, how it happened and her threat to kill us all if you say anything and that would also mean you right along with the rest of us. That leaves breaking that curse she put on you."

"I'm open to suggestions," I sighed heavily as I gazed into my glass. The sound of his feet shuffling drew my eyes to him. His own eyes were thoughtful as they studied me. "What?"

"True love's kiss."

"Excuse me?"

"True love's kiss. Emma," he said again making me wince. Clearly he had seen it. "Hey. Zelena wants you to kiss her but true love's the most powerful magic in all the realms. If you were to kiss her, it would be a true love's kiss. Your curse would be broken and Emma would still keep her magic. It seems insane and stupid to me why she would give you a curse like that when that's the case. It's pointless."

"No it wouldn't since I tried it already. It couldn't break the memory spell Regina had put on her so there isn't any true love between us and her curse wasn't pointless. I may love Emma that way but she doesn't love me."

"The memory spell? You tried it while she still couldn't remember anything in New York?" he asked slowly. I could only nod in answer. "True love's kiss can't work if the person doesn't remember. They must of their memory of you and who they truly are. Trust me I know from experience."

"You had a memory spell on you?"

"No. Mary Margaret did. I was being forced to marry King Midas' daughter. Neither of us wanted to do it. I was going to run away with Mary Margaret so I told her to come meet me at the castle. When she got there, she told me she didn't love me, to go ahead with the wedding and left instead of what I had thought she had came for. I told her to come if she had felt the same as I did. After she left, I ran anyway. I was going to leave the kingdom but Midas' daughter got to me first. She actually aiding me but I fought out why she didn't want to marry me. Her true love was accidentally turned to gold by her father's touch while protecting them from an ambush. I decided to help her get hers back so I went to Lake Nostros and got the water needed to break his curse and return him to her. That convinced me to go after Mary Margaret and fight for her. When I found her, she had no memory of me. She had taken a potion to forget me and her love for me that she had gotten from Gold. But it also made her give in to her desire to get revenge on Regina. She was going to kill Regina. I tracked her down and tried true love's kiss. It didn't work. Instead, she knocked me out and tied me to a tree. Archie came and helped free me and he was the one who told me about that little catch. I had to get her to remember who she truly was before she could remember who I was and that she loved me allowing true love's kiss to work. It took catching up with her again and taking an arrow in the shoulder for Regina to get her to realize how much I loved her and that I would rather die than lose her to darkness for it to make her remember who she was. I had thought I lost her when she kissed me and the kiss did the rest and broke the spell. Little Charming family history lesson. Emma had to get her memory back before that would have worked. So, you two are still true loves and a true love's kiss between you will break your curse now that both of you have your memories intact. Let _it_ break the curse. Stop avoiding her and tell her. Or Mary Margaret will as we both know all too well."

I winced at the reminder. The sight of Snow White stepping forward from between us in the jungle of Neverland flashed across my mind. Her mouth opening and hearing the sound of her voice as she told Emma Bae was alive when she agreed to keep it a secret for only a short time just to confirm it. Yes, Snow White would tell her beautiful daughter within moments of David telling her which he had just pointedly told me he was going to do.

Metal against metal rang through the air jerking me from the memory. Both David and I immediately turned our heads in the direction of the sound. The door handle turned and a moment later opened. I nearly fell off the stool at the sight of soft golden hair.

_Emma..._


	2. Chapter 2

I hadn't been able to stop myself from thinking it. I wouldn't have if I had been able to stop myself from thinking it. _Look up, Love. Look at me. __Please._ As if she had heard my thoughts, she tilted her head up and over.

Our eyes locked. Hers widened at the sight of me. Her pale pink lips whose touch I remembered so well from our one and only kiss parted to form a small "o." I could have almost felt the softness of them against my own at that very moment. Her breathe hitched ever so quickly and quietly that it would have been easy to miss if I hadn't been watching her so intently.

My lips tingled and burned as my eyes drifted back to her lips. It reminded me once again why I hadn't allowed myself to see her since the night my life virtually went to Davy Jones' locker. My words to Ariel on the deck of the Jolly Roger echoed through my mind. _Love is nothing but wasted years and endless torment._ David may have thought she loved me and my attempt at true love's kiss failed only because she couldn't remember but I still had my doubts.

"Emma. What are you doing here? I thought you were having a magic lesson with Regina," David said with surprise clear in his voice.

"I'm on my way to Hogwarts right now. I just came to get Henry's old storybook first. I'm going to drop it off at my place for later."

"You really are going to do it then."

"Yeah. Mary Margaret's still at the diner with him and Archie. Should know Archie's suggestions on how to tell him and minize the freak out and run. It's too dangerous for Henry to run with the Wicked Witch still on the loose. It'll be better and easier for him & us protecting if he really knows what's going on. And, he needs to know," Emma replied. Her eyes came to mine. "He doesn't just have a right to know the truth. He deserves it. Our home is here. We can't go back to New York and pretend this isn't real. I don't want to and Henry should know _all_ of his family."

"Why the book, though?" David asked.

"He figured it all out on his own with the book last time. This time it's going to be a little different. Tell him then let him have the book. Have him read it and see for himself that it's all true. We haven't been very good at keeping it from him so I don't think it'll take him long to figure it out. The Blue Fairy and Tink are also looking it a way to break the memory spell. Regina's very happy about that."

"Let me go get it," David offered.

As he left, he gave me a pointed look. He was expecting me to tell her while he was fetching it. I hadn't been sure whether I could.

"You've been avoiding me," Emma accused. There's wasn't any anger or recrimination in her voice. It wasn't even sad or hurt. I chanced a look at her. She just patiently stood there waiting.

"Why do you say that?"

"I'm not the only one whose an open book."

"We do have a Wicked Witch to worry about."

"You turned down dinner at the diner after..._everything_. You know, Henry told me something. He said that you wanted to be with...us. You wanted to make your home with us. You were how you were that morning when I left Henry with you than you did a 180 that night. That very night. People don't change that quickly, Killian. They damn well don't in less than twenty-four hours. Not unless they weren't really want they were showing themselves to be. You're not like that. So, something happened. Don't try to tell it didn't."

"I thought you said you didn't care what happened the past year."

"I don't," she replied with a sigh. "I'm not going to lie. I meant what I said. But, I'm also still curious. I do want to know. I really do because...I just do. But, it's only because I want to know. If you tell me, I'll be happy. If you don't, I'm fine with it, too."

"Let's just concentrate on the witch, lass," I said with as much conviction as I could muster. I had nearly broken down at her flinch as I called her lass. It was strange on my tongue and to my own ears. I hadn't called her that for quite some time and we both knew it.

"Lass? That's what I am now?"

She walked over to the other side of the table. I stiffened. I couldn't be sure I could keep a clear head with her so bloody close. I did admit to myself one thing. It was a good thing a table separated us. I knew I would have lost it if she had came to stand right next to me.

"Swan..." I pleaded.

"Killian, cut the crap. Ever since you came back into my life you've been different. I've let it go about the last year but this isn't the past. This is now. It's happening right here and now and I care about that. Especially because it concerns...I just care, damn it."

Her hand twitched and her fingers folded in onto themselves creating a fist at her side. Had she wanted to...no. I shook my head slightly to rid myself of the thought. No matter how much I wanted it, it wasn't like my Emma. I wouldn't have been able to handle it if she suddenly changed and did something like that. _Please...you couldn't handle it._ Too right, love. I hadn't and I wouldn't be able to now.

"It doesn't matter other than the witch will try to harm everyone you love."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Because I'm the savior. That doesn't make any sense."

"But, she hasn't killed you. She can't for some reason. But she can hurt and kill the ones you love and she will."

"How do you know this?" Her head fell slightly to the side and her eyes crinkled in confusion before turning to questioning. My ever inquistive, perceptive Emma. I could almost see the wheels turning inside that beautiful head of hers. Bloody hell.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

"You're lying. You didn't just figure that out all by yourself."

"Swan..." I sighed heavily. It had been either that or groan.

"And why would she go after the people I care about if I was such a threat to her? She kicked my ass. How could that make her see me as a threat to her? How would that provoke her to go after everyone I love? There's something you're not telling me."

"_Emma_, please...trust me," I beeseched her in almost desperation.

"I do."

My head shot up. Her seas green eyes sparkled with emotion as she held my gaze.Her eyes held no lie or platitudes. She meant it. I couldn't help it and shove it down before it began to take a hold of me. Could it have been? Could I dare to allow it to well up again? It was what I wanted with everything in me. As soon as the thought blossomed, the witch's voice rang in my ears. _The next time your lips touch Emma Swan's, all her magic will be taken. Everything that makes her special. That makes her powerful. That makes her a threat. Will be gone. Kiss Emma and remove her powers or everyone she loves dies._

"The _savior_ is needed. Your magic is what's needed and that's what's important. Nothing else matters," I replied.

"That isn't the only thing that's important. Not to me."

"Right now it is."

"Not. To. Me."

Her arm moved from her side. I watched almost in slow motion her hand reach out towards mine. Her fingers came within millimeters of mine before I remembered myself and pulled them back off the table.

"If you want to keep the witch from killing your family than it is," I replied in the attempt to keep the conversation away from that.

"I can't when they won't tell me what's wrong and what she's done to them."

"I'm not...she hasn't..." I stammered. Why had she been like that? It wasn't the Emma Swan I had became accustomed to. It had been like seeing some strange creature but still found myself helplessly wanting to see more.

"You're lying."

"Damn it, love. Leave that alone and just focus on being the savior and your magic."

"That's why I'm learning how to control it. That's why I'm letting Regina basically shove me off a cliff head first. Hell, she already collasped a bridge out from under me to force me to use my magic and save myself because I use it in instinct. Believe me, I get how serious the situation is or I wouldn't have been in that position in the first place."

"She did what?" David and I shouted in unison. I was going to gut Regina. I was going to find her and gut her slowly with my hook. From the expression on David's face, he would hold her down while I did it if he didn't do it first.

"Please. She was suppose to have mended it back together. Instead, she made a platform from the destroyed pieces. She got it done. Not the way she was suppose to but she did it. She survived like I knew she would. I had faith in her and her abilities. Why don't you two?" Regina asked from the doorway.

"Regina," Emma said sharply turning towards her. "I thought you were going to meet me at the diner."

"This has nothing to do with faith in her or her abilities," David grounded out. "This is about putting my daughter in danger like that."

"We don't have the time for handholding!" Regina snapped at David ignoring Emma.

"You could have found another way," David said through gritted teeth as he handed the book to Emma.

"Greenie's not going to wait for the more gentle approach. She means business and she isn't pulling any punches. Neither should we. Emma needed to do it and she needed to have it drilled into her that she was wasting her potential. She needed to accept who and what she is. She got the point of the lesson and now I know how much raw power she has."

"Ok, you two," Emma sighed. She looked down at the book in her arms and blinked. "Wait a minute."

"What?" I asked. I knew that look on her face. I just wanted to hear and experience it again.

"Zelena's the Wicked Witch. Her story in this world is called The Wizard of Oz. I know the stories told here aren't exactly right when it comes to the details but the people in them are. The Wizard. He would know more about her because he would have dealt with her. She also wouldn't have killed him. He would be too powerful and too important for her to do that. She would've brought him over with her curse. If we can find him, he might be able to help us."

"Yes, that would be very helpful," Regina drawled. "If any of us had ever been to Oz and actually knew what he looked like. As you just so insightfully mentioned, he would've known her longer so the one year memory loss spell wouldn't have done much good on him. And, as you just said, he's too powerful and important for her to just let him walk around the town free. He's more than likely one of her flying monkey monsters which means he won't be much help to us."

"Well, what do you suggest?" Emma fired back.

"I looking into another idea. I'll tell you when it's ready," Regina replied over her shoulder as she began walking out the door. "If you're done with your boyfriend and Un-Charming here, we need to get to practicing your magic."

Emma rolled her eyes towards the ceiling and an exasperated sigh escaped from between her lips. When she returned her eyes to mine, they were steady. They spoke louder than if she had actually said the words. _This isn't over. I'm not letting it go. _

"Thanks," Emma said to David gesturing with the book.

"It'll be better that Henry knows."

"Yeah, it will. In more ways than one. I'll see you later."

She had thrown me a pointed look before heading towards the door and left. Silence settled throughout the apartment for a long moment. Neither David or I moved. I stared into my glass once again beginning to get lost in thoughts of Emma and what had been said. A war was raging inside of me with no clear victor.

"You didn't tell her," David stated drawing my attention.

"It's harder than you think, mate."

"And Regina calls me and Mary Margaret idiots," David muttered. My eyes widened and David shrugged. "What? You think we didn't figure she did? She doesn't actually keep it a secret from anyone including us. We're not completely the idiots she takes us for."

"No, I guess not," I chuckled.

"You're fitting right in with the group then."

"I guess so."

"Stop being an idiot."

"Hey! You just said I was fitting in with the group."

"Stop being such an idiot then."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder."


	3. Chapter 3

The cool night breeze grazed across my skin as I approached the bright lights of the town diner. I hadn't stayed at the Charming's home for long after Emma left. I kept seeing the look on her face and eyes. I knew she would come to find me. She wasn't going to let it go. I was trying to keep her safe. I was trying to save who she was. Why couldn't she just take the warning about the witch and leave the rest of it bloody well alone?

She tried to cheer me up using her magic by sending hot chocolate to me as I sat alone. Her eyes lit up with happiness then look at me. And I couldn't help it. She knew I loved seeing her being..._her_. I also knew it showed. I couldn't hide my reaction. I would feel the smile on my face and then I would remember my curse. Each time it had been a knife into my heart. Her coming to my table and being with me. Sitting right next to me at the raising and having to touch her. It all had nearly broke me. I still felt the tingling on my skin from her touch. All of it truly had began taking its toll.

I shook my head to try to clear the thoughts and looked up only to see long, blonde hair wave in the breeze around her. She was leaning against the wooden fence in front of the door with her arms folded across her chest and her ankles crossed. She was staring down at her feet as her shiver shook her slender frame causing her to pull her arms tighter against her body.

I froze in mid step just as I was about to cross the street. My heart leapt into my throat and my breathe caught in my lungs at the sight of her. She had waited for me. I hadn't had a bloody clue for how long she had waited but she had waited nonetheless. For me.

Her head rose and our eyes locked. Even from the distance from where she had stood from me, I could tell there had been something different in those eyes I had come to know so well. Something I either couldn't put a name to or hadn't dared to name it.

All I could think had been of course it had to have been then that she began showing something towards me. After I was cursed and became dangerous to her. I should have figured that possibility might be just part of the bloody curse itself. I steeled myself and finished walking towards both her and the diner.

"It's about bloody time," she called out with an amused, self-satisfied grin for throwing my own words from what seemed so long ago back at me.

I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my own face. Her mimicry of my accent had been improving. She pushed herself off the fence but hadn't moved towards me. She just stood there on the walking path and patiently waited for me. I had meant to continue on past her into the establishment but found myself stopping next to her. No, I wouldn't be able to avoid her completely. I couldn't bring myself to do that. A change of plan had clearly been in order.

"Swan. What do I owe the pleasure?" I drawled as calmly and noncolently as I could.

"You know damn well what. You're too smart and perceptive not to know so don't play like you are. Have dinner with me. At the very least a drink. We need to talk."

"Weren't you suppose to be telling your lad the truth tonight?"

"It can wait one more day or two. Right now, this."

"The sooner he knows, the sooner he'll understand."

"Actually, the sooner he'll freak the hell out and try to run. That'll make him more easy for Zelena to do something to him."

"You don't know he'll react that way."

"Yes, I do."

"Emma..."

"You explained some things to me in New York over a drink. Now, I'm returning the favor. I'm going to let you in on a few things. You seem to make me actually want to tell you these kind of things. Everyone else doesn't do that. Take this chance while it's here," Emma said as she turned slightly and held my gaze.

I felt my mouth drop open. She was letting me in? Now? The poisonous thought of it happening then being a part of the retched curse crept into my mind again. I had begun to wonder if it was part of the curse was doing it. It was making my already overwhelming desire to kiss her irresistable. Give me all I had desperately wanted so I couldn't stop myself from doing it and destroying everything she was in the process. It made sense given what I knew of my Emma.

She had lead us inside and took a booth in a far corner. Both of us took our seat across from each other when the woman named Ruby approached us. She had cast me a reserved smile but bestowed a full on smile to Emma.

"Rum, please. For both of us," Emma told her before a single word could came out of her mouth. "I think this conversation needs something a hell of a lot stronger than hot chocolate with cinnamon."

Ruby walked away to the counter with only a raised eyebrow and a nod. Emma pulled off that red leather jacket she had taken to wearing most of the time since I found her in New York and laid in the seat next to her. It had taken her a moment to look back up.

"Did you know I met the Mad Hatter? _The_ Mad Hatter? From Wonderland? Yeah, I did. Before the original curse was broken when I still didn't believe in any of this. Regina had framed Mary Margaret for a murder that didn't happen and Mary Margaret ran. The Mad Hatter knew that I wouldn't let her go and come after her. So, he kidnapped her and just waited for me. He made me think I hit him with my car and got me to take him home. He drugged me and held me prisoner. Don't worry," she quickly said upon noticing the dark look even I knew had developed on my face. She reached for my hand and managed to graze the back of it with her fingers causing me to tremble. She smiled softly at my reaction. "I eventually hit him in the head with his own telescope before Mary Margaret kicked him out a window. Anyway, he told me a couple things during that. I didn't think much of them then. It wasn't until I got my memory back that I even remembered them. He said the problem with the world just outside of this town is they want a magical solution to their problems but refuse to believe in magic. The other was he hadn't wanted to let the daughter he wanted to be reunited with her memory back. He knew that the memories of her life during the curse wouldn't disappear. He said that she would have both. Two realities warring in her own head. That's what drives someone crazy. He didn't want to curse her with having to live and deal with that. I thought he was just a crazy basterd at the time and told him just that when I hit with that telescope. Now...now I don't. I get it. I get what my parents felt when they got their own memories back and how they had trouble dealing with it. I get it."

Ruby arrived at that moment with our drinks. Emma warmly thanked her and waited for her to give us some privacy once again. She took a rather large drink before setting it back down on the table.

"I grew up in that world the Hatter was talking about and he was right. Someone's considered crazy for believing in fairy tales nad definitely if they're real. That's what's drilled into your head from the beginning. That makes your gut reaction be to deny it. Refuse to see it or even consider the possibility that it's real. Add onto it a lot of unhappy endings and pain. The world you know couldn't have fairy tales being real. It doesn't make any sense in this world just outside of this town. That's what I grew up with. That's what Henry only remembers now. The first time I was faced with it and couldn't really deny it so well...I freaked out and ran. I took Henry and tried to leave town. Henry was the only thing that stopped me. That's how I know how he'll take knowing the truth."

"You wanted to go back to New York. Not just for your boy but for yourself. You said your life was good there. You said it would be the best thing for him. No villains, monsters or any of it. You said that."

"How about basically being cursed before you were ever born all because Rumpelstiltskin made a true love potion from your parents and placed a single drop on the parchment the original curse making you the savior of everyone. The one who would break that curse and give everyone back their happy endings. All magic comes with a price so that meant that the savior had to grow up without your parents thinking they didn't give a damn enough to leave a newborn at the hospital so they left you on the side of some highway. Then had a family when you were three but they decided to send you back because they had a kid of their own so you wound up being tossed from one foster home to another with not a single one giving a damn about you. Why? Because you were the savior and they were protecting you from the curse that you were destined to break," she said as she looked me steadily in the eyes. Something in her sea green eyes shattered. "Have Pinocchio tell your first love and father of your child what you were and get him to send you to jail without either of them asking you what you wanted. Why? Because you're the savior and you were suppose to fulfill your destiny. Have the Mad Hatter hold you prisoner so you could make a portal hat for him and go home with his daughter. Why? Because you're the savior, you had magic and I brought magic to this world. Give eveyone else back their happy ending. Yet, everytime you even try to have your own or begin to think you could have it, it gets taken away because they choose some destiny over you or they weren't who or what they had made and said themselves to be if not both. Or had to give the person up when you just started to accept it because a little bastard recast a curse and they couldn't stay even though you wanted them to when you had to because of your son who you loved and needed you and couldn't leave so you had to choose and it gutted you. Why? Because you're the savior. Then that person comes back into your life when you didn't remember anything and asked you to take a leap of faith because their family that they didn't even remember needed them. That the savior was needed once again. You take the potion they gave you and suddenly you have two sets of memories battling in your head. One of loss, pain and what you are being or having to be chosen over what you wanted but being literally face to face with one of those that you had to give up. The other memories had seemed happy. Until you realized that what you were almost getting was a total lie and had something diectly to the other set of memories and you being the savior."

I fell back in my seat and could only stare at her as she also sat back when the flood of her words finally stopped. Her eyes blinked quickly a few times in confusion and surprise before she lowered them down to her lap. Her words had put me in mind of a broken dam or waves from stormy, rough seas crashing into a boat. They caused memories exploded through my mind as if they were happening all over again that moment. Emma locking the chain around my wrist and quickly stepping back. Me calling her name in confusion. _"I can't take a chance that I'm wrong about you. I'm sorry."_ Then standing at the town line as Pan's curse approached saying our goodbyes.

The pain filled my chest completely just as much as it had the first time. The look of grief upon her beautiful face as she looked upon me ripping my heart out further. _"__There's not a day that'll go by I won't think of you." "Good."_ The tears had threatened to spill down her cheeks as she gave me a pleased yet regret-filled smile.

Her on the roof top in New York immediately after she had fought the flying monkey that would have married. _"A reminder. That I was never safe. What I wanted, what I thought I could have, is not in the cards for the savior." _

She didn't look up but I could see that she was shocked at how much she said. She looked as if she was fighting her instincts to run back behind that wall of hers. Never had I dreamt that she would be as she had been just moments before. So open and unguarded. Lying it all out in an ever increasing rush of words that, once started, took a mind and life of their own. It had me wondering if she had ever given voice to any of it. Maybe tidbits but nothing like she had done. It was foreign to both of us and it clearly had frightened her. I couldn't help wondering what made it happen.

"For once, it wasn't about what I was and what I could do but just me," she said softly still not raising her eyes to look at me. "With the one person who not only saw the what part of the savior but the who. Who had seen that I was special because of who I was not just because of what I could do even if he couldn't remember it. Just one person after all those years seeing that when no one else had was unbelievable. It was even more unbelievable that there was a second person who does and had been showing it more and more since he met me and I tied him to a tree. It was too good to be true. Both the first time and then the second. That had been taken and I didn't know if I could handle it if I was wrong about it or if it was taken away again."

My heart pounded against my ribs. Did she really? Could I allow myself that...hope? Ruby had chosen that moment to set an entire un opened bottle of rum on the table with tearful eyes, turn on her heel and walk away; disappearing into the back where the food was prepared.

"The witch cursed me. She wants me to kiss you but that kiss would take away your magic and your power. You wouldn't be a threat to her anymore and she could harm you. But, if I don't, she'll kill everyone you love," I rasped.

"You could've just told me when I first asked what was wrong. Hell, you could've said it before I asked."

"I was...trying to protect you..."

"Didn't do a very good job."

"Thanks for reminding me, love," I muttered. I sighed heavily and took a huge gulp of a freshly poured glass. "I was selfish once. I was trying not to be this time."

"Selfish?"

"I didn't help the mermaid find her love. It was as I told you with the mirror. She had done it herself. She thought I had kidnapped him after..."

"Going back."

"Aye. I didn't, of course. I was trying to find it after I left the others. You were gone and...it was as I told you in New York. There was nothing there for me. Turned out Blackbeard stole it when it returned. The mermaid found me and asked me to help her get her love back. When the time came...Blackbeard gave a choice. Let him keep the Jolly Roger and the mermaid would know where her love was. Keep the Jolly Roger and he wouldn't tell where he had him held. I chose..."

"The Jolly Roger."

"Aye," I breathed with a wince. "I regretted it the moment I pushed Blackbeard from the plank and the mermaid jumped overboard. I regretted it for the past year. Now you know what happened to me the past the mermaid showed up here, I wanted to try to make it up to her but that wasn't meant to be."

"It was Zelena instead of Ariel."

"Aye. She found out about what I had done and used it against me."

"How?"

"I tried to apologize for what I had done and she didn't believe me," I said softly. I looked down. I couldn't bear to look at her. It was the very thing I hadn't wanted her to know about that past year. Just how much it had tormented me not being with her. "She asked me how I could do such a thing. I told her I was trying to fill a void left by a broken heart with the ship. She asked how she was suppose to believe someone who didn't believe in love because I had told the mermaid that love was nothing but wasted years and endless torment. I told her I still did believe. Then she asked me if I still love the woman who broke my heart. I said yes. She told me to swear on her name."

"Me. You swore on my name then she cursed you."

"Aye," I breathed. "By invoking the name of the woman I loved for a selfish attempt at redemption she was able to curse me."

She sat there staring at me with wide eyes. Seconds turned to minutes without either one of us saying anything. As each one had passed, the grip in my chest tightened. It had became hard to swallow. I hadn't been able to take it anymore.

"Well, I better take my leave. You have to get back to your boy," I announced in as steady of a voice as I could manage.

Without waiting for an answer from her, I rose from my seat and left the diner as calmly as I could. I had gotten as far as the walk way when I both heard the clicking of her boots behind me. I hadn't turned to confirm it. I hadn't needed to. I _felt_ her. It sent a shiver down my spine.

"Killian!" she shouted. I just turned my head to see her jogging towards me but hadn't stopped until I was in the middle of the street. "Killian, stop! We weren't done!"

"It seemed that way, Swan," I replied as I stopped and turned to face her.

"How in the hell could you have gotten that? All because I didn't say something? And don't you 'Swan' me. You only do that to keep me at arm's length. Don't you do that now. Not after everything and all of that in there. You know my name so use it like I do yours."

"Well, _Swan_, when polite conversation comes to a halt, that usually is the end of things."

"Not when the other person is reeling from how sick and twisted something they've just heard is!" she shouted as she walked to me and stopped a couple of feet away. "The silence is generally them trying to wrap their head around it. The longer that takes, the more insane, sick and twisted whatever they just heard is! You just told me that the Wicked Witch cursed you because she got you to swear on my name all because you love me and then she said it was selfish and that's why she was able to do it! That's sick and twisted!"

"It was selfish!"

"Like hell it was! You said that she made you swear that after she asked you whether or not you believed in love. That makes it that you were swearing that you believe in love on your love's name."

"But it was for forgiveness for what I did to the mermaid. That's what made it selfish."

"Making amends isn't selfish! You screwed up. We all do. I have. I've done pretty much nothing but screw up since we got back here. Especially with you. Saying you're sorry isn't selfish. If someone was that selfish, they wouldn't be that sorry for what they did, especially over a ship that rightfully belonged to them. You didn't know her. You didn't kidnap her husband. The Jolly Roger was your home. She asked you to give up your _home_ for people you didn't even know and you had a broken heart on top of it all. She was asking for a lot. Some would even say she was asking for too much of one person. Ariel was being selfish too for asking for that. For expecting that. She actually more selfish than you were for not asking that of you just to help her. She was only thinking about her own deal and not yours and what it would cost you. It wouldn't have cost her everything for someone else. She wasn't asked to give it all up for a stranger. She asked the stranger to do that for her. And I mean _that was left for them_. It was too much to ask for and expect. It really was. That's why what you did isn't as bad as you think it is. As bad as Zelena has made you think it is."

"I told her I was doing her a favor, Emma!"

"And there's the broken heart talking and where you screwed up! That still doesn't make you selfish or the villain! It doesn't make you not good or a good man! It makes you damn human! Besides, where is the Jolly Roger now? It's not here! You came back without it after not giving it up for Ariel! Why isn't it here? You gave it up to get back here, didn't you? You gave up what home you had left to get back here! To me! How in the hell is that selfish? This! This is how she was able to curse you! It's _you _who thinks you're selfish and a villain! If you hadn't believed it yourself she wouldn't have been able to do it! Why the hell do you think loving me is selfish and makes you the villain?!"

"Because you don't love me! I kept my word. There wasn't a day that went by I didn't think of you. I left your family in the Enchanted Forest because there was nothing for me there. _You_ weren't there. They weren't my family. They weren't my friends. Everyone that had any meaning to me was gone, Emma. You were gone. I convinced myself that a ship would fill the void that you left in me but it didn't. I told you I couldn't go back to my old life. I tried. It didn't work. I went then got the note that you and your family were in trouble and found you. I thought because of how we said goodbye that you loved me so I tried true love's kiss on you and it didn't work! Then you said you were happy with your life in New York. You loved someone else. You wanted to go back to that life after saving your family. I stayed here even when my own crew wanted to leave this town because of the witch because of you despite all of that because I couldn't leave you. Because you needed me. I can't go back to my old life, Emma. I can't leave even though you don't love me. I can't bring myself to do it. That's why it was selfish."

"If that makes you selfish and the villain, than I am too."

"What? Why?"

"Zelena's curse on you. I'm possibly screwed either way. You're the one that gets me to do magic. I couldn't light the candle in Neverland to capture the shadow until you were in trouble. I able to do it because of you," she said with total conviction and began closing the disatance between us. "It was you who told me to embrace that magic and that got me to ask Regina to teach me. Your influence. The mirror. Regina told me to look inward but how was I to find a true love couple. Then I saw you with me in the mirror and I focused on us. I was able to do it and that made me realize that I did love you. I wouldn't have been able to look in on them in another world if not. I wouldn't have been able to focus and control it. Without you, I don't have the ability to stop Zelena. If I kiss you now, I could possibly lose my magic. I won't have the ability to stop her. I'm possibly screwed either way."

"That's not true," I breathed as she took the last step to stand mere inches away from me.

"It is and for once I'm going to choose."

Her hands darted out and grabbed the lapels of my coat. Before I could even think, she pulled me to her and her mouth had been on mine. A groan had torn itself up my throat and my eyes slid closed. It was just as I remembered it except for one major difference. Warmth spread through my like a wildfire and a light flashed. Something surged through both of us and the burning I had felt on my lips since the witch had placed her curse on me melted away. Our jackets flapped in a strong breeze before falling to a rest once again.

I had lost track of just how long our kiss had lasted when Emma began pulling away. She held out her hand to the side and focused on it. A small, white ball of magic formed in the palm of her hand. She looked back up at me with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. She shook it out of her hand making it disappear then kissed me again. The kiss didn't last as long as the one before it. She ended the kiss and repeated the magic ball.

True love's kiss. David had been right. I couldn't have stopped myself even if I had wanted to. I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her with all the love I had for her. I felt both of our smiles as our mouths danced with one another and our fingers threading through each other's hair.

We finally broke apart only when that contraption of hers rang from in her pocket. She answered it reluctantly but didn't move far away from me. I could hear Mary Margaret's voice telling her that they could remember the past year and Henry could remember. Our true love's kiss hadn't just broken my curse.

"I guess you can have what you wanted, love," I said after she finished with her contraption.

"Yeah. Both of us can. But, we still have a witch to take care of. Especially after that one she pulled."

"We'll defeat her," I said as I pulled her into my side.

"Yeah, we will."


End file.
